My baby is three. There is a part of me that wants to say, “When did this happen?” and another part that knows exactly where that time went – unless of course I look through old pictures and I wonder how my little boy grew from that chubby baby into the crazy little boy he is.
Becoming a mama was easily one of the best things I’ve ever done (next of course to getting married, which enabled the whole mama part). I’ve always known that I wanted to share my life with children, but the idea was vague and I didn’t give it too much thought. I went to school to go to college so I could get an education and then career, even though I never knew what in the world kind of career I wanted. I met James in college, and he introduced me to the idea of a stay at home mom in such a way that it sounded great. He always knew he wanted to homeschool his future children, and once he explained it all to me, I was absolutely up for it. I know I’m qualified, no matter what other people might think. It always sounded like so much fun.
And now I’ve got Kostya. Not some vague idea of a future child that was always modeled after kids I knew – sweet, but not quite right – but my very own flesh and blood. Bits of me and bits of James and 100% his own unique person staring right back at me every day.
I know parenting is a lot of work, but most days, it really doesn’t feel like it. It feels like the coolest long term science experiment that I am emotionally invested in every single day. I get to watch a whole person become more and more whoever he is every day.
Even at his worst I still enjoy this almost every minute. I thought becoming a parent would mean sleep deprivation and tantrums and sticky messes all the time, but it doesn’t. Sure, those things are there sometimes, but they’ve never been what’s stood out. Instead it’s watching him try to pick his nose behind my back, or spell out a word on a box when I didn’t know he knew all the letters, or count to 20 without help. It’s listening to his first attempts at stories and him playing “The Floor is Lava” for the first time last night. I love how pure he is. He can honestly pretend to be a sea turtle in the middle of the floor of the mall and not see anything wrong with it, or color all over his chest with markers or have a long and involved conversation about how we turn pancakes into poop in our tummies.
I love how even at his most frustrating, he is still so…. him. When he tells me he “neeeeeeeds” to whine or try to hit the cat or eat nothing but ice cream all day.
And now he has a baby brother on the way, and I’m so thrilled that we get to not only keep walking and growing with Kostya, but we get to start over again with Yuri.
Happy birthday, baby boy!